It was a beautiful plan, I’m sure you’ll agree, perfect in its form and simplicity. It would have worked too, if it weren’t for my lovely wife, Sweetums. My plan began to form ...

I was wedged under my lawn mower, “The Belt-throwing Savage,” a few weeks ago trying, in vain, to replace another belt when it hit me. The sweat in my eyes, the mud on clothes, the biting flies ...